He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize