he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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