White coat. Heels.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
