You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
