if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize