Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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