If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
