mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Screwed.edu
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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