hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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