the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
