it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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