So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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