My hand turned me down
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
