problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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