So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
