Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize