Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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