Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
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I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
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But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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