So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
