i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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