Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
