we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize