i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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