Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
