Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.