That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
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Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".