If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!