Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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