So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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