she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
