Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
