ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
