Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
