If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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