So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Damn victory sex feels great
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
