why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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