I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
