Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
