So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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