I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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