I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize