How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
