Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
