we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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