That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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