So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
