I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
