so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
