Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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