sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
