There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
