ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
