Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
