are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
