just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
